What Are the Symptoms of Bereavement?

Some people think bereavement just involves feeling sad. But it can be far more intense, both psychologically and physically, when you lose someone you love.

When you’re facing bereavement, you might experience the following signs, symptoms, and conditions:

• trouble sleeping
• loss of appetite
• depression
• anxiety
• post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• increased susceptibility to illness, or increased risk of acute or chronic disease
• suicidal ideation

Research suggests that physical symptoms like nausea, loss of appetite, and trouble sleeping are all common after bereavement. Bereavement can put people at greater risk of developing chronic health problems, like diabetes, high blood pressure (hypertension), and diverticulitis.

Additionally, grief-related stress can tax the heart — a condition called Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, or broken heart syndrome.

A small study of people in Ireland affected by the suicide of a loved one found that 24% showed signs of at least moderate depression, and around 18% had at least mild anxiety.

Another study connected the feeling of loneliness in bereavement to an increase in suicidal ideation, even among people grieving a suicide.

Factors contributing to how strongly you’re affected by bereavement include the nature of your relationship with your loved one, how your loved one died, and the circumstances around their death.

You may have lost your child. You may have lost your spouse. A close friend or family member may have died by suicide. A longtime pet may have become sick and died unexpectedly. These are all examples of situations that could affect the intensity and duration of bereavement, but they’re not the only examples.

Typically, it takes about a year to stop feeling grief acutely. But for some, bereavement turns into complicated grief. Complicated grief, which affects 2.4% to 6.7% of people after bereavement, may intensify and persist over time.

If you’re often under stress, have trouble adapting to new situations, or have experienced previous trauma and grief, you may be particularly susceptible to developing complicated grief.

Bereavement is intensely personal, and the way you cope with the loss of a loved one will differ from how others cope — even those who are affected by the same person’s loss.

But there are ways to manage bereavement that are helpful to people in a variety of circumstances around loss.

A review of 17 studies on children who lost parents found that support groups helped both the children and their surviving caregivers in the aftermath of their loss.

A grief support group, whether general or targeted to a specific kind of loss, may help you feel less alone in your grief, as it allows you to talk to people in similar circumstances.

A study of parents who lost their spouses showed that a targeted program to mediate symptoms of bereavement — including learning coping skills, reducing stress, and improving relationships — decreased depression and anxiety and increased coping skills over time.

In a study of bereaved parents whose children died in pediatric intensive care units, 59% of the parents asked to speak to their child’s doctor in the days following the death. The opportunity to speak to the person who cared for their child at the end of life, they said, provided emotional support as well as clarity around their child’s circumstances.

And a 2020 study of medical professionals helping families cope with the COVID-19 deaths of their loved ones further underlined the importance of contact between medical staff and families after a death. Families who received personal notes about their loved one or assistance in planning a funeral said these touches helped them find closure.

In general, the more social support you receive, the less isolation you experience, and the more you’re able to discuss the circumstances of your loss, the more manageable bereavement will be.

However, there are people for whom bereavement intensifies over time rather than abating, and if that happens to you, it can help to talk with a medical or mental health professional.

In one review study, 94% of people with a recent bereavement indicated that they needed help managing their grief — but only half of those people received help, and only 40% of them felt satisfied with the support.

In general, if you remain immobilized by grief more than a year after your loss, and your grief is affecting your daily life, it may be useful to discuss a solution with a healthcare professional, whether that’s your primary care physician or a trusted therapist.

If your grief becomes complicated, seeing a therapist who specializes in grief or attending a grief support group (particularly one targeted to the type of loss you’ve experienced) may help.

Bereavement is hard, it’s complicated, and it’s personal. Its difficulty is a reflection of your love for the person you lost. Time usually helps — even if, despite the old adage, it doesn’t heal everything.

Engage your support networks: family, friends, neighbors. If you feel alone, a support group might help. If you don’t know where to look, ask your doctor or consult our guide here.

If, after a year, you find yourself unable to function because of the intensity of your bereavement, you might have moved into complicated grief. It may be time to consider seeking help from a therapist trained to deal with grief.

Above all, you are not alone. There’s help out there and resources to find it.